Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Wish You Were Here"

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A few short weeks ago, while wandering around in yet another scrupulous dream, a dashing older man beckoning me with a cad smile and a finger curl, invited me to hop up next to him on a hospital bed. There was no reluctance or distrust, it was mutually understood I was there to be eye candy and help him in recovery, and so I hoisted myself onto his bed--no questions asked. He picked up a stringed instrument resting beside the bed, began strumming and singing the Pink Floyd song, 'Wish You Were Here.' The joy on my face couldn't have been captured, it was the last song I expected him to play for me, but undoubtedly the most appropriate for the message being conveyed.

There were other critical components and mystical characters within the dream, but I'd just assume leave them nameless. It was another gracious "response dream," spawned and visualized only after long and heavy prayer--candid discussion with God. Some people may pray with the wrong mentality, for they don't pray in anticipation of a direct response, or most mistake the response will always arise from the external. I do expect something to happen---whether it be a feeling in my heart, a twinge in my tummy--- I count on correspondence with God because I know it's always coming and cascading into the world through unsuspecting vessels. This reliance is a pinnacle test of permeating faith. It may not always be instantaneous, but I am happy to say there have been several moments I started praying and in a very undeniable and vivid way, God responded mere moments later. This particular instance, I had asked God how he interpreted my actions during specific sections of my life---if he frowned upon certain behaviors or if they were motive for his mission through me. I question that sporadically, but enough that the dreaded questioning is never subdued completely. Am I acting in a manner which pleases God? Is this what God wants me to do or am I rationalizing something I shouldn't be and using my small mind rather than relying on the divinity of the more Godly loyal portion of my soul? Faith is as purifying as forgiveness. Is it not faithful purity enough I risked everything to come back down here again? It's the unproductive hesitancy and indecision and worry of this throughout life, in the midst of malignant inquiries, which prove to be my greatest foe and energy contender. My vice and remedy for this disability, is of course, dreaming. I derive an incorruptible sense of solidarity in the dream mecca, as if it were my real residence. There is no room for lack of decisiveness inside a dream. Your only options are to go with it or wake the fuck up. In this sense, life is the same. You either go with it or you fall the fuck asleep at the wheel and crash into certain disaster.

I'd be lying if I said I fit in here. As Jesus has reminded me so many times, "You are in the world, but you are not of the world." I cannot reiterate that enough--He sure does. I am exceedingly grateful he provided me with psychic ears to truly hear Him when it counts the most. His counsel is a very underused resource, yet it is the most accessible. Nevertheless, it makes Jesus happy there are so many ligthworkers here, sharing their own stories in corrective fashion with an honorable intent to heal the real "listeners." There is wisdom of the world and then there is wisdom of heaven. After being forced to learn of worldly things and abide by the civic rules, often which do nothing more than regulate ignorance, I woke up one day and realized----this world is not for me in the same way some people want the world.

Back to the dream mecca, as I heard my friend strike the first few chords of Wish You Were Here, the song took on all new meaning and sentiment. If you will recall, the first line in the song challenges, "So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell?"
Could that be part of our purpose while we are alive? To discern the difference?
It wasn't merely the chance perhaps the man singing it to me, wanted me to be "there" in reality, to figure and provide proper answers to all the clandestine riddles in this classic tune, it was that God and the angels wish I were there in the celestial sense, the multidimensional sense I knew before taking a leap of faith into the vacuum tube of gravity. All souls are displaying and exercising their faith by trusting they shall be in this world for a time, then gracefully transition back to occupying a state of eternal in "here." The object is really to be conscious of the fact that we never truly left. On the magnanimous journey to final discovery, we are united by our leap of faith into the fish bowl. Enjoy the swim!

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