Sunday, February 27, 2011

Posted by Picasa

It was 82 degrees here in Florida today so I went out to the beach and played with my camera...
Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Posted by Picasa

I wish I had a husband to send this crap to... 'Hi honey! Please come home!' LOL

Monday, February 14, 2011

Victim's Alleged Failure to Report Stalking Too Familiar, Advocates Say - WNYC

This is exactly why I wrote the cease & desist letter to the crazy man who was harassing me last week

Victim's Alleged Failure to Report Stalking Too Familiar, Advocates Say - WNYC
I hurt, I hurt, I hurt. I just want to go downstairs and wail into the microphone until it doesn't hurt anymore and I can't feel anything.

I don’t feel like creating

more false hope
and fleeting love
i try every day
but it isn't enough
yeah i give my face in
and i'm still waking up

I'm grounded in a floating God
and all of my hurt
has been laughed off
no one to care for me
no one to care for

I thought I had something special
but then I woke up
I thought I was loved
but it didn't give a fuck

count all the eyes
in suicide
write me a love song
on the day I die
cause i'm giving up
and I'm not, I'm not
waking up

Saturday, February 12, 2011

People often ask me "Why are you single?"

Well, the letter below is the gist of why I am single. I went on two innocent dates last week and it escalated into something strange and scary where this guy thought calling my phone once every hour for 2 days straight was proper dating etiquette. So after all of his un-returned calls and a series of emails where this guy reiterated every minuscule detail of random stories I'd shared during lunch, the content below is how I felt compelled to respond to his terrifying advances and end the drama. Enjoy, learn, laugh, whatever....

Going on 2 harmless dates with you does not ever give you a license to smother me and blow my phone up like a relentless, inconsiderate nutcase. You can make excuses and try to rationalize it, but you really destroyed any chance of ever seeing me again because you couldn’t just keep your cool and back off. I think the last thing I said was that I cannot communicate with you much during the week because I have a life with my daughter and I am not going to negate my time or devotion to her because some man decided to be a complete sociopath and place unnerving romantic expectations on my head within a matter of a very short week. I was not even awake those two mornings when you started blowing up my phone initially and then I woke up to all of this stream of bizarre requests and demands and unsolicited offers from you that made me feel very overwhelmed. Normally I do not even dignify that kind of behavior with a response because it's just unacceptable, but damn, now I feel it is necessary to write you and be assertive here to ensure my own immediate safety.

And I never offered you any of that personal information about me to use it as ammunition to shove back in my face when it suited your purpose. That was really tasteless you would suggest I have abandonment issues because of my various family ordeals growing up. What I have survived is absolutely none of your fucking business and I revealed much of that to you simply to make polite conversation because you really weren’t being much of a conversationalist, and I am an animated person and I find some of my life events peaceful and healthy to look at now with some reflective distance and emotional security. But I have never seen anything God has tested me with as any sort of issue or weakness. If you perceive it as such, that is much more your issue and not mine, I assure you.

Further more, stalking women the way you have stalked and pursued contact with me this week is far more serious and dangerous red flag warranting than any of my minor experiences with abandonment or fascination with the dream studies. So maybe take a better look at yourself before you dissect me further because I am really not impressed.

And I would never, ever so much as fathom using something as tragic as your father’s death in a manipulative, chauvinistic, or vindictive way-- just to try to provoke some kind of reaction out of you or accuse you of any sort of personal shortcoming. That was really screwed up you would even resort to that kind of underhanded, contrived tactic and it is very disappointing your mind even works like that and would conceive of misapplying anyone’s personal life details as callous weaponry for selfish motives. You are not going to make me feel vulnerable or intimidate me or make me consent to anything by dragging any of that up in a very inappropriate, bullshit context.

As it is, I am not into this type of dating that feels more like terrorist or hostage negotiations and this is a non-negotiable issue--- you are not welcome in my life or near me and I do not wish to upkeep any form of communication with you. In fact, after the excessively hounding hourly phone calls, texts, and emails and feeling completely bombarded and invaded and terrified of your obsessive, clingy behavior this week, I’d much rather kick you in the nuts and file a restraining order against you than ever even think of sleeping with you.

I am only replying now to establish documentation that I have requested in writing for you to back off and cease and desist all contact with me. If you attempt to engage in harassing behavior any further, I will involve the police because I really am beginning to feel like you are a danger to my personal safety and independent well being. Any competent judge knows and will agree that two dates with a total stranger does not give anyone the right to make another human being feel this fucking terrorized and intruded. Leave me alone. And don’t you ever make reference to any of my friends or family members out of context like that again.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I love the smell of clean laundry
the shape of my body
all the mistakes that soon forgot me

but I love your soul more than these
the preciousness of all your gentleness
you moved me from me
in a grasp of destiny
there's no need for names or identity

I never thought
I’d ever find someone
so right for me
but in you I see
I see
what perfect love is meant to be
happy sight, it has to be

when the world was dying
going into that old night
you and I were finding
each other
it felt too right
making up that real life

under the sheets of stars
a world or two away
from lines of grudges and old cars
broken means and painful scars
I never want to leave where you are

you’re the only reality I ever need
a hand that moved me from me
my delicate waiting seed
God must have planted you in me

so let’s grow together angel
grow in love
let the vines get tangled
learn what we thought
we didn’t need to know

every word, every deed
you’re the only reality I ever need
so let us love
let us grow
let us grow

(c) Jessica Robbins

Love letters to a love I cannot hold...