Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Curious control
I don't want to be this owned
born into this beast
freedom's finely written on a lease
the Mayor's loyalty concedes
to the police and DMV
the D Motherfucking V

scandal of sadness
No such Jefferson gladness
sure you can be free
if you pay a tax for your deceased

as the dream moon waxes
they'll vote for nine more taxes
refusal to comply
they'll burn the stick in your eye
and lock you angrily away
ground of convenience and more red tape
lines the silver of a hypocrite state

"probable cause"
they'll pass 90 more lame laws
while liberty runs lost
axis of Antichrist it regulates
doesn't matter how you vote or what say
just come with bribes to pay

off to the war
love is seldom and rarely sworn
harder still to learn
peace is graded on a curve

if you try to wage a fight
know that you will have the right
the right to stay silent
blindfold & ban on self-evident light

they built a land mine on it
and if you rebels in grit
try to change this hell and shit
they'll raise your sentence to twelve

2 more years the calendar runs out
no more bad money left to count
equality fades away
meanwhile the Fed's play cards with CIA
the rivers fill with toxic waste
God can see the trace
and Michael has the ace

the pot steams short and stout
drag it to the olive mount
bring down the carnal house
it just feeds on fear & doubt

All the bells have stopped ringing
but the children still are singing
Where are the Saviors now?
Where are the Saviors now?

(c) 2010 Jessica Robbins

Monday, December 13, 2010

tucked away in this chamber of clarity
I wear my drippy emotions deep and despairingly
I’ve stopped crying for now
but the sickle windy weather is fairing
the faint frozen soul in me
the candle is in here
it hasn’t gone out yet I see

the men come quickly
everywhere it seems
they’re waiting to objectify
more of me
they honor only their disease
project these fucking sensuous motives onto me
I don’t want sex, not in a way mortals do
I made love in a dream once
it felt more like love than use

I want such love to experience
to constantly create the spiritual ecstasy
it's more of a thought than an act
I crave healthy thinking in every cell
to know how such love feels beyond the dreamy fairytale

Fulfillment, it doesn’t dissipate after the sun rises
sometimes I delight in indulging his altering guises
young once, older the next
he's even come in an age when he was unwed
as I did suggest
it’s proven one way to know more
to be loved, cared for, and adored
by one man, at least when he chooses to see
the most sensitively remote and pure side of me

Do I know who he is at all?
Do I falter too frequently in disbelief?
if it’s truly Jesus, so mote it be

all those who know not the trinity
bide their actions by impulsive brink
laughed at sad cat calls, ignored the pervert winks
And when I tried to oblige and make it work
I tolerated abuse
and heard every petty excuse you can think
and I’ll tell you now
excuses won’t make a wedding ring

celibacy, my will
to have and hold
abstaining from skin
no more, no more men can come in

I hear their thoughts
the way they react to my form
the come not for the basin of life

they lay with countless women
who are obviously not their wives
and then they wonder why
they’re souls are still so unsatisfied
Godless fools

you can’t fill yourself with material and sex
and expect it to fix what’s wrong
another broken, loveless marriage
keeps playing that tired, ill fated Disney song
broken record

(c) Jessica Robbins

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Unraveling despair
the heartbreak fills the air
your love slaughters me
caring gore to spare

yet little is spared it seems
for it’s taking over all of my dreams
invader yeah like a razor
to a clean wrist
spill out the bloodstream

stitch my burns up again
while I’m waiting
drink a few more cups of flaming sin
the fire fills the seed
and hopelessness was made for me
just like you and I

were made to dream

a heart of grain
drawn in the sand
the tender times
I held your happy hand
rolling over close to me
begging for releasing
If I could
I'd dream without ceasing
no ceasing

I took a drink and you held on
I took some pills and you threw up
I closed my eyes and counted to ten
and you were there beside me
still waiting once again
I took an oath in secret to you
that I’d always understand
no matter what stupid shit you do
but what the fuck more do you want from me?
you and I both know they’re more than dreams
they’re more than dreams

the emotion swept me away
I fear I'm far more lovable in that place
taken with teal eyes
tidy little grace
a broken, lonely baby face

now you’re gone
and I’m searching this empty waste
wasted time and a private parking space
the oil stains on the driveway
collect runny, more saturated by the day
longing not to
wash his oil away

It’s satisfying, thrilling juicy things
the way the memories feed me
day in and slowly out
out in his starry meadow
the way truth seldom drips
over his embellished lips
words to run as love runs about

I can’t muster a hunger
I feel tempted by nothing
little tanglible registers here
I overcame the world my dear
all I have to do now is get out
do you have such ears to hear?
hear and go knowingly
beyond each and every dream
I go
go on knowing

(c) 2010 Jessica Robbins