Friday, September 24, 2010

I can’t take the sound of my daughter’s cries
the wails that tell me she knows
her mother is dead on the inside
tired of this sleepless ride
so vacant and sore
nowhere left to go, nowhere of worth
I barely survived giving her birth
fragile mind, fickle and forlorn
for sudden death, I still thirst
I’m unfulfilled, my face is underscored
I’m always hungry and scratching on poor
the people of God still come to my door
but they don’t have any sympathy
for an unwed whore

I had a lover, but he doesn’t visit me anymore
I’m beside reason, there’s no motivation left
I’d give anything to just go home and forget
how I am with him in my sleep
how he laughs and plays with me
God comfort me while I grieve
for a helpless love
I’ll never see

yes, yes I pray to forget
there’s only a few shadows of him left
he was everything I hadn’t become yet
I could feel how much he cared
every time our minds met
always got lost in poetic finesse
distance couldn't keep us
or make our souls less
and now knowing I’ll never feel his caress
all I can do
is pray to forget

(c)2010 Jessica Robbins

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

instinctual bliss
departed, Scarlett's lost in the mist
i saw the grim reaper grimace
engaged like schooling fish
find my heaven
in a deathly dream tryst
groaning louder and shapeless
I might as well be nameless
it’s all complicated but basic

you were a chance I couldn’t resist
who’d have known I’d be your only weakness
the devil may care
his snakes may hiss
armed and charmed with
blunt pitch fork and a naughty list
never thought it’d come to this
I turn blue and rattle before I admit

your love is my dying wish
a final request before I exit
if it’s meant to be, well God will insist
pull back the sky of stubbornness
we'll waste our lives if we resist
be angry, make thunder fists
somewhere steal a heavenly kiss
even though you lied
your love is
my dying wish

I can barely look in my own eyes
broken reflection still haunts me inside
stirring sensation and loss of pride
I know you heard me all the times when I cried
I empty my pockets one last time
fortune cookie crumb and a dirty dime
my heart is numb yeah
I’m far from fine

not enough goodness to be
all these crippling bitter deeds
I stumbled again
too many tickets to read
before my mind is dry
before my wrist finally bleeds
I’ll be confined
and swallowing seeds
searching and finding
a spark of holiness in me
there’s no meaning to time
when I love you infinitely
your dreams always make me believe

your love is my dying wish
a final request before I exit
if it’s meant to be, well God will insist
pull back the sky of stubbornness
we'll waste our lives if we resist
be angry, make thunder fists
somewhere steal a heavenly kiss
even though you lied
your love is
my dying wish

you said you don’t hate me
but that doesn’t leave much love for me
while you were playing roundabout games
and chasing glory with fabricated fame
death was aiming convincingly, she fucking came
and now the memory is tainted and strained
wake up cold, still go against the grain
but instead of your hand
all I’m holding
is this cup of pain

your love is my dying wish
a final request before I exit
if it’s meant to be, well God will insist
pull back the sky of stubbornness
we'll waste our lives if we resist
be angry, make thunder fists
somewhere steal a heavenly kiss
even though you lied
your love is
my dying wish

there's no greater sorrow
than a dream that doesn’t come true
and baby, we’ve had one or two
well I tried to make do
but our prayers are wasted and unused
how could you say all that shit that served only you?
now I’ll suffer and get further confused
as the ball always rests with you
I think we both know
there’s too much history to undo
but till the end
my dying wish will always be you

(c) Jessica Robbins

Friday, September 3, 2010

 
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Most recent photo from the "just stop crying and love yourself" art series lol.