Thursday, November 17, 2011

if I asked you to leave
would you come protect me?
muster the capability
to fulfill my dreams
and be the only man for me

angel, all we need
is a little bit of mystery
and if you’d only ask
for a taste of simplicity
I would be your everything

I never thought
you would come to me
challenge me
baby readily
I know, I know
we were meant to be
be my everything

the highs and lows
are everlasting
in this chance we hold
I know, I know
you could be my everything

You revealed to me
the former grief
ever so deeply
dreaming away
in reprieve
the possibilities
the higher rings
you could be my everything

you could be the one
God sent to me
the man I was born to love
the angel of my dreams
I’d take away your hurt
remove the beams
eye to eye
I know, I know
you could be my everything

(c) Jessica Robbins

Sunday, November 13, 2011

an undistinguishable moan
clamored and arose
from hellish burrows below
like a recluctant pan child
grows and grows
he would moan
he would moan

familiar he was, like a treasured secret sight
we would laugh for lucid hours
in the belly of a forgotten night
sounds I wear with contempt delight

but before long, he surrendered to the shadows
a shadow of material assuredness
and in the skies of Helios
the murderous ashes of a Hero
finally rest upon my soot stain toes

what purpose did he serve?
besides his selfish own
he resented his haggard face
and carried heavily his inner scold
when he got old
when he got old

he wore a cape down to my pillow
and his face had a curious glow
his voice was rather morose though
and he forged his very own soul
further into an empty union
from which nothing ever comes
and no man shall ever grow
never to grow
purity does not come
from a camel skank manipulative ho
one more mindless shopping trip
and all of his brains will surely blow!

fear not old caper man!
For your jilted fate has been foretold!
you will die unhappy and desolately old
regretting every dream
your husky heart, ever coy and eternally cold
failed to chase and still dearly longs to hold

awake, awake, for you not yet know
whether you are young enough still
to forsake that predictable restless life of woe

-Jessica Robbins (c) 2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011

has got a grip on me
skeletons of sympathy
shake my spirit free

the dark finality
has come to fascinate me
to wait on me

the true reality
grant me pardon
stride on in guiltlessly

the illusion captivates me
entangles me
engenders me

password to infinity
a license to be free
a joyride with amenities

a mirror of modest means
no contest earnestly
the dawn of immortality

-Jessica Robbins
portions of the sunrise
scattered in your sleepy eyes
seldom do we laugh
lest celebrate
on the whirring tea cup rides

grains of seriousness
steadily etching me raw
in a former year
past lives of noble deeds
I was unapologetically vibrant
and all too carefree

I wanted a harmless happiness for myself
craving a sort of well founded home
with a remarkably family
a gentle husband to call my own

but these last few years
of seeing
has molded me a hapless carcass
a cripple crying shadow
of the unbreakable woman I used to be

I heard some of my records were broken
the strokes I devoted to my youth
it came as indifferent news

My mind was far elsewhere
roaming scenes
the populace shall never believe

How could my future ever be?
knowing there is one person
in the same world
who sees the same dreams

yet in his cranky shell of self
ever discreet
doesn’t remotely care

paying others to form his beliefs
bearing no truth, only more greed
proudly content in belligerence
to let you remain waking
deadly alone

each new light
offers little balm
as the heart slowly loses the will to beat
the nail scars appear on my palm

I have begged and pleaded with God
to blot the memories away
my frail existence
virtually over
before I am made a wife
more like a slave for trade

a sure pure seed
turned from a flowering life
to an old hollow tree stump
that no one visits anymore
constantly weathered and molding away
yet still standing
mostly dead and defying nature

my fate to be sure
an anxious winter grave
waiting for one last heartbreaking dream
before my soul concaves
and flutters wounded away

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Final Emotion

I will hand life these crusts
leftovers of what I'd sooner forget
the crust of my worthless dreams
the ones that failed to erect
into a tender destiny
a home I will never know
a woman I will never be

the world is just a fame hungry whore
careless foes and friends demure
fake hair, fake names
no sooner do they carve their shame
into a moonlit star covered door
heaven is closed for now
tomorrow will come no more

for now, my celestial passion
a poison partly starved
teething for a delicate love
the darling I knew from afar

aimless little pasty me
tell me dreary angel
what is it you truly wanted to see?
was I a fool to think
you could ever just love me for me?
based on a bunch of passing dreams

I know all, but mostly i know
I am but a dusty spec
in the eye of a cosmic storm
a rainbow with no golden end
wasted and never fully seen

there is no shelter in a man
and hence no warmth
or fair fulllness to find in me
there is no heart without a taper worm
eating away at the flesh of a final emotion
the last thought to ever think
i licked the barrel a couple of times
and neglected to even blink
dancing closer to suicide’s brink

unreturned affection
go ahead and let the pistol glisten
forever tormented by his condition
illicit love pains
the one that got away
if only for failure to listen
the face he fears to ever caress
let alone mention
I came, I dreamt
in abounding good intention
and after I retire today
I shall love no more
and there will be no final redemption

-Jessica Robbins 11/9/11