portions of the sunrise
scattered in your sleepy eyes
seldom do we laugh
lest celebrate
on the whirring tea cup rides

grains of seriousness
steadily etching me raw
in a former year
past lives of noble deeds
I was unapologetically vibrant
and all too carefree

I wanted a harmless happiness for myself
unselfishly
craving a sort of well founded home
with a remarkably family
a gentle husband to call my own

but these last few years
of seeing
seeing
has molded me a hapless carcass
a cripple crying shadow
of the unbreakable woman I used to be

I heard some of my records were broken
the strokes I devoted to my youth
it came as indifferent news

My mind was far elsewhere
roaming scenes
the populace shall never believe

How could my future ever be?
knowing there is one person
in the same world
who sees the same dreams

yet in his cranky shell of self
ever discreet
doesn’t remotely care

paying others to form his beliefs
bearing no truth, only more greed
proudly content in belligerence
to let you remain waking
waking
deadly alone

each new light
offers little balm
as the heart slowly loses the will to beat
the nail scars appear on my palm

I have begged and pleaded with God
to blot the memories away
my frail existence
virtually over
before I am made a wife
more like a slave for trade

a sure pure seed
turned from a flowering life
to an old hollow tree stump
that no one visits anymore
constantly weathered and molding away
yet still standing
mostly dead and defying nature

my fate to be sure
an anxious winter grave
waiting for one last heartbreaking dream
before my soul concaves
and flutters wounded away