Thursday, April 15, 2010

some grow up in grace
and some just grow down and cold
chopped up in bitterness and cuckold old
only soaring to die, forsaking all He foretold
while the others of light
sleep in scripture
and steadily, readily abide
in God, in Christ
in the duality of glass eyes
rolling back the truth inside

I had such a role of reprise
a lover
a bowl of porridge just the right size
everything tasted fine
until I spooked him out
with my shy green eyes
I nuzzled his dreams and kissed him twice
but commitment is a rare creature
that likes to hide

i sought the shoulder of the throne
and cried
as the air in my chest rose and held tight
like a baby holding a finger
I held the flower of life
I traced the memory until no more hopes could linger
we were just a film of smoke
curling further away, angel sheer
i ate the ashes
made angels in the saw dust
and prayed like praying was a career
the earth had changed
it shook and sneered
but the tides of tomorrow
swept me away just the same
oh how the mermaids veer

the thick opposition in his eyes
was like a blood stain
no sign of fading
until it’s too late
a haven where forgiveness is laced
in dull perceptions and restrictions
sheering death, an untimely restriction

after his vainglorious mind was gone
I rediscovered a willingness to live
a reason to go on
in the works of service I was dying to give
an ascension was happening
few could pretend

I meditated on the simplicity
nature had served me simply
the cardinals chirping lithely
just after the clock struck three
the multitude of blessings
abound in the most obscure breeze
the jasmine vapors of spring
opened like soar eyes
white light came and went
the sweltering summers in Florida's hellish decent
the state of sunshine and flowers
was becoming a state of lent

i gave up my needs
and deeper admired the sweetness
in each leaf on the old oak tree
the one I had to cut down before its time
after the tree cutters left that day
I went out in a fog of nostalgia
and counted every last sappy line
the leaves had collected like clumps of dust in my yard
the limbs were lifeless but hadn’t fallen very far
like me
a living soul in a lifeless tree

(C) 2010 Jessica Robbins

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